There are times in the Christian life when you just can't take it any more. Let's face it, you and I aren't eternally-sustained by ourselves. You try to be stronger, you try to be more, you try to be enough...but at the end of the day, you are more frustrated, more tired, more sick of fighting than ever. You have tried to "fight" like the Lord commanded you to, like a good soldier, and you messed up. You weren't perfect. You failed.
I have known the feeling of failure, the sting of guilt that weighs heavily, when in contrast I should be rejoicing for all that my God has done for me. But my heart doesn't want to rejoice...it's focused so much on the bad that I overlook the good. "What good?" I ask. "Is there any good in all this?"
Truth is, there will be times in your life when you can't "do it" anymore. You will run out of strength, run out of logic, run out of...well, YOU.
This year, I've tried over and OVER again to "fix" my problems and win my victories...on my own, but always in the name of Jesus Christ. At least, I would say "in the name of Jesus Christ" but as I was saying it I was still "trying" to figure out the mess I was in instead of nailing it to the cross once more. I have too many times failed at this Christian walk by trying to "be the Savior" of my own soul, when in reality Christ has already won my soul to Himself, and saved me so I don't have to "try" to "save myself" any longer. Because in reality, I CAN'T.
The cross has the same meaning no matter who you are...I don't care if you're seventeen like me and suffer from mental breakdowns or anxiety attacks, or whether your a long-weathered Christian of sixty years and have such a peace in your soul that you believe not even the biggest storm can rock you.
REALITY is, you and I need the cross. No, the cross doesn't need us, but WE need the cross. And what that means is that we have to come to the bleeding feet of Jesus and cry up to Him to save us from ourselves. You don't need more "self-help" prep talks, that's what got you into the mess you are in. All you need is Jesus. I know that sounds abstract, but it's not. It just isn't. It's the simple truth that you won't ever be enough and can never be enough and are not good enough and not strong enough, but He is. You're gonna sin. But don't beat yourself up about it! Repent of it and admit to Him that it was wrong and look up to the cross once more! Jesus already beat Himself up for us so that we didn't have to be beat up. Do you think He wants you to be under a gravity of guilt your entire life for all the bad things you've done? Whatever that is?
All He wants is for you to come to Him and say, "I'm sorry. I was wrong. You are right. Save me! I am yours, my life is yours, my heart is yours, my mind is yours, my body is yours, I AM YOURS."
And you know that old saying about "pulling yourself up by your boot straps"? Well, the disciples wore sandals, not boots.
Blessings to you!