Who are all my single friends out there?! Well, this little letter is to YOU.=)
Lately, I've been thinking a lot on how much I desire to some day get married to a young man that loves Jesus, and have lots of babies! (Yes, that sounds silly, but it's true!=) That EXCITES me!)
I've always had a dream to have a family, but the other night the desire to someday become a Mom was strengthened when I dreamed I was actually 6 months pregnant! It was the weirdest, strangest thing...because it felt so real! You know how you will sometimes have those dreams that you think are so real, that when you wake up, you have to almost pinch yourself? This was one of them!
But I just remember the feeling in my dream of being pregnant, the strange feeling that I was carrying a little life inside of me. It was so sweet and beautiful that I was almost sad when I woke up to find out it was all just a dream. I awoke with a new resolve that if I do nothing else in this world but raise a bunch of sweet babies into godly men & women for Jesus, then my life has been full!! (Course my husband and I would raise them together, with my husband leading.=)
But that can sound all sweet & cute for a blog post, but what about reality? What about the NOW that I have to deal with? What about when a guy asks to have a relationship with you and you know you're not emotionally & spiritually mature & ready for one yet?
Or what if you think you are, but your parents don't think so? Or what if you see your friends around you dating & seemingly having such carefree, wonderful times of self-fulfillment with their boyfriends and you just have to watch from the sidelines and kiss your Bible?
What then?
I know. It's tough.
But, ya know, I know God is making something beautiful in me. I know that He's painting a masterpiece out of the broken, messiness of my weird life...I just know He is. He has been, and He will continue to.
I may not understand why I can't date now and some of my acquaintances and friends can,
and I may not understand why it seems like some people just do whatever they want and they don't have any consequences,
In fact, have you ever wondered..."WHY DO I EVEN TRY?" Ever felt like the hopelessly perfect little Miss or Mister Goody-Two-Shoes? And others made it clear that you were, too?
It FEELS hard to live for Jesus when everybody else seems to be conforming, conforming, conforming, and you try to transform your mind and say "no!" It feels tough! I know how it feels!
But what it really comes down to is me. It comes down to my personal decision if I will obey God today and His will for me, and submit to His will by asking for His forgiveness for whatever I did that day, and trusting Him again,
Or disobeying my Savior that died for me so that I could live in obedience, and face the consequences.
As God's daughter now, I DON'T WANT to disobey Him! He's changed my heart. So it's just constant, quiet, humble surrenders every day. It's me "decreasing and HIM increasing"!
Easy? God never promised easy. Worth it? You kidding me?! Worth me saying "no" to sex and unhealthy relationships now, so that the first time I say "yes" is on my wedding day to my husband? Knowing that I had kept my heart tucked away just for him? Not perfectly by any means! But me knowing that the struggle of obeying God over self was worth it.
Because the joy that will come that day that I walk down the beach... =)
Sky blue and lilac-colored flowers tucked in my hair, a long, white shimmery veil covering my face,
My creme-colored satin wedding dress adorning my body, a bouquet of real flowers in my hands,
The shimmer of my lips from the lip gloss, ready to kiss my beloved whom I waited for,
The sparkle of joy and gratefulness in my eyes that no one can dampen,
My bare toes warm in the sand,
The ocean lapping beside me,
My loved ones, my friends, my family, watching on in teary awe,
The eyes of my beloved locking with my eyes as I walk toward him,
Though a bit frightened and maybe even still feeling a little unprepared, we both know we are ready,
The cry of the seagulls overhead,
The backdrop of the rosy sunset behind us,
WILL ALL BE WORTH the wait now...
So be encouraged single friend! "Don't be conformed to this world...but be TRANSFORMED by the RENEWING of your mind!" (Romans 12:1-2) Because when you keep getting more and more transformed,
You won't believe the butterfly you became on that day!!
Lately, I've been thinking a lot on how much I desire to some day get married to a young man that loves Jesus, and have lots of babies! (Yes, that sounds silly, but it's true!=) That EXCITES me!)
I've always had a dream to have a family, but the other night the desire to someday become a Mom was strengthened when I dreamed I was actually 6 months pregnant! It was the weirdest, strangest thing...because it felt so real! You know how you will sometimes have those dreams that you think are so real, that when you wake up, you have to almost pinch yourself? This was one of them!
But I just remember the feeling in my dream of being pregnant, the strange feeling that I was carrying a little life inside of me. It was so sweet and beautiful that I was almost sad when I woke up to find out it was all just a dream. I awoke with a new resolve that if I do nothing else in this world but raise a bunch of sweet babies into godly men & women for Jesus, then my life has been full!! (Course my husband and I would raise them together, with my husband leading.=)
But that can sound all sweet & cute for a blog post, but what about reality? What about the NOW that I have to deal with? What about when a guy asks to have a relationship with you and you know you're not emotionally & spiritually mature & ready for one yet?
Or what if you think you are, but your parents don't think so? Or what if you see your friends around you dating & seemingly having such carefree, wonderful times of self-fulfillment with their boyfriends and you just have to watch from the sidelines and kiss your Bible?
What then?
I know. It's tough.
But, ya know, I know God is making something beautiful in me. I know that He's painting a masterpiece out of the broken, messiness of my weird life...I just know He is. He has been, and He will continue to.
I may not understand why I can't date now and some of my acquaintances and friends can,
and I may not understand why it seems like some people just do whatever they want and they don't have any consequences,
In fact, have you ever wondered..."WHY DO I EVEN TRY?" Ever felt like the hopelessly perfect little Miss or Mister Goody-Two-Shoes? And others made it clear that you were, too?
It FEELS hard to live for Jesus when everybody else seems to be conforming, conforming, conforming, and you try to transform your mind and say "no!" It feels tough! I know how it feels!
But what it really comes down to is me. It comes down to my personal decision if I will obey God today and His will for me, and submit to His will by asking for His forgiveness for whatever I did that day, and trusting Him again,
Or disobeying my Savior that died for me so that I could live in obedience, and face the consequences.
As God's daughter now, I DON'T WANT to disobey Him! He's changed my heart. So it's just constant, quiet, humble surrenders every day. It's me "decreasing and HIM increasing"!
Easy? God never promised easy. Worth it? You kidding me?! Worth me saying "no" to sex and unhealthy relationships now, so that the first time I say "yes" is on my wedding day to my husband? Knowing that I had kept my heart tucked away just for him? Not perfectly by any means! But me knowing that the struggle of obeying God over self was worth it.
Because the joy that will come that day that I walk down the beach... =)
Sky blue and lilac-colored flowers tucked in my hair, a long, white shimmery veil covering my face,
My creme-colored satin wedding dress adorning my body, a bouquet of real flowers in my hands,
The shimmer of my lips from the lip gloss, ready to kiss my beloved whom I waited for,
The sparkle of joy and gratefulness in my eyes that no one can dampen,
My bare toes warm in the sand,
The ocean lapping beside me,
My loved ones, my friends, my family, watching on in teary awe,
The eyes of my beloved locking with my eyes as I walk toward him,
Though a bit frightened and maybe even still feeling a little unprepared, we both know we are ready,
The cry of the seagulls overhead,
The backdrop of the rosy sunset behind us,
WILL ALL BE WORTH the wait now...
So be encouraged single friend! "Don't be conformed to this world...but be TRANSFORMED by the RENEWING of your mind!" (Romans 12:1-2) Because when you keep getting more and more transformed,
You won't believe the butterfly you became on that day!!
No comments:
Post a Comment
My posts are here for you to read, and for you to share your thoughts if you feel led to.
Please ask yourself every time before you post if it honors Jesus.
I know if your doing that then your heart wants to please Him!
Thank you,
A Sister In the Lord Jesus,
Samantha Anne